The SONM Robot Wars Championship THE FINALE

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AlterntiveAntagonist
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Group Four a-go-go!*

Post by AlterntiveAntagonist » Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:18 pm

thank mr skeletal
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Group Four a-go-go!*

Post by Aren142 » Mon Sep 19, 2016 11:26 pm

Take that, meatbags.
<Kaeetayel> Go for a team entirely composed of Eeveelutions
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Group Four a-go-go!*

Post by D.J » Tue Sep 20, 2016 6:51 am

Yay, go Henry!
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beansontoast
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Group Four a-go-go!*

Post by beansontoast » Tue Sep 20, 2016 11:29 pm

an appliance and a skeleton

how did they even pass the physicals

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Group Four a-go-go!*

Post by Kappa » Tue Sep 20, 2016 11:31 pm

henry sucked off the competition

your skeleton has more power than you could ever imagine, you just need to release it from your flesh

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Group Five: Coming Soo

Post by Troggy » Sun Sep 25, 2016 3:46 pm

Hey, lads! The Group Five battle is coming up soon!

Our contestants for the final battle are...

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Rudol von Stroheim!

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Horatio!

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Kryten!

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And Motoko Kusanagi!

But until then... An announcement.

You see, with only five groups, things seem a bit uneven. We'd only get 10 robots for the next group!

This, ladies and gents, is why I'm allowing you folks to vote from the losers to create...

GROUP SIX!

After the battle is posted, a strawpoll will be posted alongside it, so you can vote from all the losers between Groups 1 to 5. The most popular robots will be given a second chance! So, will the Automato finally ketchup to the competition, or will Henry and Hetty reunite? You decide!
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Group Five: Coming Soo

Post by D.J » Sun Sep 25, 2016 6:18 pm

Time for Kryten to kick some ass, and then mop the floor once he's finished.
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HassyTheSassy
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Group Five: Coming Soo

Post by HassyTheSassy » Sun Sep 25, 2016 6:38 pm

HORATIO HORAT SO BIG EYED
:mrgreen:

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Group Five: Coming Soo

Post by Scapegoat » Sun Sep 25, 2016 7:19 pm

Stroheim will crush the competition with glorious Nazi innovation.

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Group Five: Coming Soo

Post by Vtheyoshi » Sun Sep 25, 2016 10:29 pm

s e k a i i c h i
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The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group Five!

Post by Troggy » Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:31 pm

Now, on SONM2... We go back to the internet's best robot battling competition...

Ladies and gents, it's time for the final group battle of the user submissions! But first, we need a quick reminder of the last battle! So, let's go to our roboteering mastermind: Barry Bubbleflaps!
Barry Bubbleflaps wrote: I can't believe I had to work on gooseberry fool' Christmas for that battle. First the giant jolly angel delight with a bazooka got killed by a hoover, then a bloody skeleton beat a battling seizure monster! I suppose the least crap robots this time around were Henry the Hoover and a skeleton. Wait, how would a skeleton be allowed in this bloody fight in the first place? How did it pass the physicals?
With a higher score than Megas, Mr Bubbleflaps! Now, let's take a look at today's contestants!

All the way from Germany, Scapegoat (The man who let Luckyman into a tournament but not Bugs Bunny) has entered Rudol von Stroheim! A wonder of German innovation, this robot has a machine gun in his stomach and and cannons in his shoulders! I think the opponents will nazi Stroheim's attacks coming, between you and me!

From Germany to the Philippines, HassytheSassy has entered Horatio! A dirty, foul-mouthed, monkey robot; Horatio is just as likely to talk eton mess as he is to fling it. With personal interests including drinking, smoking pot and listening to dope beatz, it's (the nutshack) no wonder he's so popular with our fans!

Now, let's move away from the earth and to the reaches of outer space! D.J has entered the helpful mechanoid: Kryten! As the loyal companion to Lister, Rimmer and the Cat on the Red Dwarf mining ship, Kryten prides himself on cleaning and serving those around him! Plus, with his groinal attachment socket, he can use any weapon or appliance he can plug into it, such as a television with which to watch the new series of Red Dwarf on Dave*!
*Note: SONM Robot Wars is sponsored by Dave, so we have to provide this disclaimer about sponsorship to avoid getting a warning from the higher ups. So there.

Finally, we move to a character who's big in Japan! Shio Hime has entered Motoko Kusanagi! Working as the leader of Public Security Section 9, Motoko holds impressive feats of strength and intelligence, as well as hacking abilities so advanced, she can take control of other robots! Surely this is a contestant worth keeping an eye on in this battle (For many reasons...).

We've met our contestants! Now it's time to see them in action! For this battle, we return to the SONM Robot Wars Arena!

3, 2, 1, ACTIVATE

Motoko immediately scopes out the competition, considering her chances of success if she was to fight her opponents. Suddenly, she's approached by the horny monkey Horatio, who intends to get down and dirty with the japanese policewoman (wouldn't be the first time).
"Damn, girl! You look fine as hell!" Horatio shouted out to Motoko, who seemed slightly disgusted by the monkey's behaviour. "Hey, girlie! You like flowers?" He asked, as Motoko looked more and more uncomfortable with the situation. "I... suppose I do..." Motoko begrudgingly replied, trying to focus on the battle at hand. "Well, why don't you put your tulips 'round my-" Horatio began to chat up Motoko, but she had had enough of his shenanigans. She immediately dashes at Horatio, wanting to get him out of the way. Horatio realised his mistake and ran and fast as he could, hoping to outrun the Japanese superhuman.

"Pathetic, aren't they?" Stroheim remarked, as he watched Motoko and Horatio from the other side of the arena. "Well, I've not heard much about that crass simian, but I am aware of the magnificent feats of the young woman fighting him. They rival that of Hercules, I hear." Kryten replied, as he cleaned the dirtied spot that was left over by Hetty's corpse in the second battle. "But did Hercules have a glorious cyborg body, provided by only the greatest innovators in Germany, dear robot?" Stroheim asked. "I assume not, sir. Mainly because I have my doubts that those in ancient Rome would've had the tools needed to create a mechanical body akin to your own." Kryten remarked."Well, if that's the case, dear robot..." Stroheim continued, "Then I can take down those on the level of Hercules with the glorious miracles that only Germany has offered!" Kryten reponded to Stroheim's bold claim. "I'm sure that more countries other than Germany have offered glorious miracles to the general public, sir. In fact, the miracle of receiving a robotic penis is one that-" "Please do not continue, you sick-minded fool." Stroheim interrupted.

Just then, Motoko and Horatio ran right past Stroheim and Kryten, who could only watch in awe as Horatio dashed for his life, flinging poo at Motoko with the intent of slowing her down. It didn't. Just then, Stroheim decided to show the great innovation that Germany had provided to the world. Stroheim releases his machine gun from his chest, reveals his cannons from his shoulders and began to aim at Motoko with his hand! Motoko stared in shock at Stroheim's weaponry, as she'd never seen anything like it in her entire life. Stroheim aimed at Motoko, readied his shot and...

ZAAAAP! BRAKKA-BRAKKA-BRAKKA-BRAKKA!

Stroheim gunned down Motoko with no mercy, killing her on the spot. His innovation was nothing to ignore, to say the least! But, Stroheim didn't feel like he had finished his work just yet. "Now that I've taken down a superhuman, defeating a mere monkey should be the easiest battle of my lifetime!" Stroheim gloated as he aimed his hand at Horatio, who was crapping himself out of fear. Stroheim aimed his hand at the pooing primate and fired it at his target! But, as the hand began to fly towards Horatio, it began to make a U-Turn, causing it to fly towards Stroheim! "This cannot be! How can my own innovations fail me!?!?" Stroheim shouted, but it was too late. Stroheim's hand pierced through his head, killing him without time to think. Horatio sat there, confused as hell. How can Stroheim's hand fly back at him? The answer was simple. While Stroheim was busy aiming at Motoko, Kryten was vacuuming the floor with a hoover plugged into his groinal socket. When he heard the commotion coming from Stroheim's side, Kryten turned around to investigate, causing the nozzle of the vacuum cleaner to aim precisely behind Stroheim's head, providing enough suction power to send Stroheim's attack back at him! As the final two contestants, the winners are Kryten and Horatio!

THE WINNERS ARE HORATIO AND KRYTEN! SMEG YEAH!

Well, that was fun wasn't it? Next, we see Group Six coming up. But wait? There isn't a Group Six is there? Not yet, but there will be when you all get to decide who stays and goes in...

THE RENEGADE SONM ROBOT A-WAR-DS!

By voting for your favourite robot, you can increase their chances of getting into Group Six! The top four robots by Sunday this week will become part of Group Six! So get voting! Until next time... Life has many doors, so why waste it watching SONM Robot Wars?
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by Scapegoat » Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:41 pm

I call eton mess there's no way German Innovation can lose to something so stupid.

where's the host influence when we need it.

this is clear racism against the aryan race I will not stand for it.

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by HassyTheSassy » Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:52 pm

MY BOY HORATIO
:mrgreen:

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by PiGreat » Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:22 pm

IT'S
RichardUK wrote:I don't believe anyone is actually poor in this country
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THE ADVENTURES OF A GUY ON HIS QUEST TO BECOME A WEEABOO | BONUS COMMENTARY | RANDOM eton mess[/centre]

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by Garf » Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:27 pm

death to anime

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by Aren142 » Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:53 pm

Hercules was Greek mythology, not Roman.

Boycotting for poor fact checking.
<Kaeetayel> Go for a team entirely composed of Eeveelutions
<Princess> that's effort
<Princess> I need to buy the stones/go to rocks/make them happy/touch Eevee
<Kaeetayel> The last one doesn't sound too bad

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by Shio hime » Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:57 pm

Hercules was Roman, Heracles was Greek.

>Mfw I just realised there was a poll and I didn't even vote for myself
Only idiots
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by Troggy » Tue Sep 27, 2016 12:07 am

Aren142 wrote:Hercules was Greek mythology, not Roman.

Boycotting for poor fact checking.
The Internet wrote:The Romans adapted the Greek hero's iconography and myths for their literature and art under the name Hercules.
one more phoney boycott like that and you'll be in the naughty corner, young man
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by Met » Tue Sep 27, 2016 12:19 am

How embarrassing. Imagining not knowing his name is derived from Hera.
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by D.J » Tue Sep 27, 2016 6:56 am

Looks like silicon heaven will have to wait, go Kryten!
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by Aren142 » Tue Sep 27, 2016 12:59 pm

Troggy wrote:
Aren142 wrote:Hercules was Greek mythology, not Roman.

Boycotting for poor fact checking.
The Internet wrote:The Romans adapted the Greek hero's iconography and myths for their literature and art under the name Hercules.
one more phoney boycott like that and you'll be in the naughty corner, young man
Doesn't make it Roman. It makes it theft. The Romans had gooseberry fool all original mythology. So it's still Greek.
<Kaeetayel> Go for a team entirely composed of Eeveelutions
<Princess> that's effort
<Princess> I need to buy the stones/go to rocks/make them happy/touch Eevee
<Kaeetayel> The last one doesn't sound too bad

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by Met » Tue Sep 27, 2016 1:24 pm

This guy.

There are fundamental differences between the tales of Hercules and Heracles such as the Roman interpretation having more recognised labours.

Lern the lore loser.
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<Kaee> I think Met would give better sex than Hoyle
cruizer wrote:I didn't start writing this with the intention of speaking about veganism; but the link between animal explotiation and oppressed human groups is so obvious

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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by Decretum » Tue Sep 27, 2016 2:23 pm

Hoyle only knows the lore for eton mess games like Pokermen and Dangangronpan
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by Vtheyoshi » Tue Sep 27, 2016 3:40 pm

of course the gooseberry fool nutshack wins
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Re: The SONM Robot Wars Championship *Look Alive for Group F

Post by HassyTheSassy » Tue Sep 27, 2016 4:57 pm

PiGreat wrote:IT'S
THE
:mrgreen:

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